


WHAT AM I DOING?!

by lila_luscious1



Category: Black List (TV), Blindspot (TV), Jeller - Fandom, Rapata - Fandom, Repata - Fandom
Genre: Cheating, F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, Guilty Pleasures, Light Shame, Love, Love Confessions, Reade and Meg are engaed, Reade is engaged but he loves Tasha, Redae and Tasha are Intimate, Support from Patterson, Tasha is conflicted, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 13:22:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20967245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/pseuds/lila_luscious1
Summary: Tasha needs to talk-to her other Best Friend, PattersonShe can't stay away from Reade, who's engaged to Meg(for now), and they are carrying on a extremely hot affairunder Meg's nose. Neither of them can stop.





	1. CAN'T STOP NOW

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blindsmarcy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindsmarcy/gifts), [Bacner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/gifts), [AshleTorres318](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshleTorres318/gifts), [IndelibleEvidence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndelibleEvidence/gifts), [Repata_stories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repata_stories/gifts), [DnDgay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DnDgay/gifts), [ProblematicDS](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProblematicDS/gifts), [Natteve](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natteve/gifts), [lightandwaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightandwaves/gifts), [GroovyChickens01](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GroovyChickens01/gifts), [FanFicholic1981](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicholic1981/gifts), [Jem4ever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jem4ever/gifts), [JackBivouac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackBivouac/gifts), [quiethurricane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiethurricane/gifts), [4QuietRyt3r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/4QuietRyt3r/gifts), [carolina_beckerj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolina_beckerj/gifts), [danilow1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danilow1/gifts), [blindspottingwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindspottingwriter/gifts), [Multifandomfanfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandomfanfics/gifts), [Crazygremlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazygremlin/gifts), [AtlanticSamm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlanticSamm/gifts), [Tricky_Arrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tricky_Arrow/gifts), [FoxoftheDesert](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxoftheDesert/gifts), [WordsofSplendor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsofSplendor/gifts), [julrenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/gifts), [LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley/gifts), [Andoras_Ice_Prince](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andoras_Ice_Prince/gifts), [ericaj318](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaj318/gifts), [nk54](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nk54/gifts), [Maca96](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maca96/gifts), [wafci62](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafci62/gifts), [georgiamagnolia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgiamagnolia/gifts), [mizbat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizbat/gifts), [RiseandShineDearie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiseandShineDearie/gifts).

> ADULT LANGUAGE ALERT CHAPTERS 1 AND TWO  
IMPLIED SEX BOTH CHAPTERS

Patterson looks up from her computer screen, alerted to Natasha Zapata's presence by  
the scent of her perfume. "Hey, you. 'Sup."

Zapata glances about, making sure they are'nt being observed, before perching on a stool near  
her good friend, her brow faintly knitted with worry. " 'Sup." After gnawing at her bottom lip  
for a second or two, she blurts, " I fucked Reade last night. Rather, HE fucked ME."

Eyes wide, Patterson can only utter, "Huh."

"And not just last night. Pretty much every day for the past ten or eleven days-right under Meg's  
nose. _God _, she moans. This is the type of shit I USED to do-but no way can I stop-I tried."

Patterson is ever supportive of her friend. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Chica. You're human, and  
you have been pining after Reade for...shit, forever. And he's already said-OFTEN-how he feels about  
YOU. You're right to feel guilty, and maybe a little sneaky. But this doesn't make you any type of villaness,  
Tasha. You're a Woman who has finally realized what she's been running from, and now you're running  
TOWARD it, instead of away.

"I HAD my chance though, and I blew it...HE never stopped loving me, WANTING ME, and now,I can't stop  
myself, Patterson. I can't stay away-he can't either. We can't do it." Her voice drops to a barely audible whisper:  
"HERE, in this building...we've done it here, in his office. What is wrong with me!?"

"It's, OK, Babe. It really is. It's not as if you and Meg are friends-not to say that what you and Reade are doing  
is _RIGHT _, however if there is a choice between the two of you and her, it's the TWO OF YOU. If it's  
between you and Reade-it's YOU. I don't say that lightly-not at all. I love Reade, you know that I love him. I love you more."

This makes Tash a feel just a bit better. "Thanks. You're like a Sister to me, and I love you too. But real talk? I  
can't promise that if it comes to a between you and him situation, that I'll choose YOU. He's too deep inside me.  
ENTRENCHED-you know? I only say that because he's the one, P. I can feel him pulsing in my veins, like blood."

"I get it. Meg has to be told, though. Reade has to tell her that he can't marry her, not the way things are.  
I'll help you with a plan-later. People are looking this way, so scoot along-scoot, scoot, scoot!"

Tasha brightens considerably. 'You're the BEST, Blondie. See ya."

"See ya, and I am indeed the BEST."


	2. EVEN IF I WANTED TO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tasha can't control her animal urges, OR resist Reade's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patterson and Special Agent Agent Donald Ressler (DC office) had a two  
week fling the previous year.

Tasha runs into Patterson in the locker room after end of shift. Her dark, lustrous hair, always so carefully  
styled, is slightly mussed, and her color is 'high'. Her eyes are also slightly glazed. Patterson motions her  
closer, hissing "Get your BIG BOUNCY ASS OVER HERE!"

Standing as close as possible, Tasha murmurs " _ I KNOOOW!_" I have no self control around him!  
He asks me for a report, I hear 'I wanna fuck you'...he says my name, just MY NAME-I hear 'I can't wait another  
second to be inside you'. I'm losing my mind, P, but it's so, SO GOOOD!"

Patterson glances around. Suggests they take their discussion elsewhere. They gather their handbags and jackets,  
and leave. Outside, Tasha tells the Blonde that she has to get going-that she's 'expected'..."Didn't you two just do it  
up stairs?" Patterson is truly mystified: Reade must be a BULL!

"You gotta get CUNT-TROL of yourself, Natasha Zapata. You heard me correctly: CUNT-ROL. You are thinking with  
your 'nethers', and that is NO BUENO." (NOT GOOD).

Tasha explains that she is well aware of the pit-falls, and that sex is just a part of it. A BIG PART, to be sure, but the connection  
runs deeper, has been building since the early days of their first meeting...through the establishing of a solid foundation of friendship,  
genuine caring, and then romantic love...through her rejecting of him TWICE, to the flowering of her true feelings once he moved-on  
with another. "All I'm saying, Tash, is that you can't let your animal instincts 'run you'. Three, four times a day, in public places-it's just  
RECKLESS."

"I have an idea, Tasha says brightly. "Let's call Rexler from DC, get his feedback on letting 'animal instincts run one'."

She raises her cell phone threateningly. Patterson, panicking, shoots back "First, you wouldn't DARE, and second, why do you have his number?"

"Focusing on YOU, I remember two weeks of non-stop fuckery when he and Liz Keen were up here on the RICO case last year. So stop fronting."

"Yeah, yeah...touche'. I'm worried about you though. Seriously. FOR REAL."

"I GOT IT, P. Reade and I are gonna talk it over tonight. About getting ourselves under control: we don't have to make up for all of the times we should  
have been screwing in a few weeks-right?"

"Exactly right. See you tomorrow...stop fucking Reade anywhere and everywhere-ALL THE DAMN TIME...Gimme a hug, You." Their embrace is  
full of all of the love they have for each other, as true FRIENDS. As they part, Zapata calls back over her shoulder: "It's the other way around!"


End file.
